The Grown-Up Things

I've told you before, suddenly I feel like I was bored with all of my stuff. I knew it's not because of the daily routines; this boredom stuff happened on the middle of my holiday. Or maybe I missed my usual routinity? I wasn't quite sure what the cause to this aggravating thing was. It felt like I'm not interested into any fun things anymore.

I've been trying to contemplate by lying on the roof slope, but I found nothing to answer the boredom misery and the riddle of my mind. The one thing interesting was there were no more rainy nights so there were no more clouds which made the sky as clear as a very thin glass. The stars were very bright, you could see them vividly. The bright stars made me remember that I used to try to count the stars when I was little back then. My best count is one thousand and six hundred twelve. But I didn't really interested to count it at the moment; I just watched the shining. I guess I'm just too old for that stuff.
Knowing that contemplating on the roof slope didn't quite work in solving my boredom misery, I decided to walk where my feet wanted to walk off. So I put my sweater with my scarf on and began to walk somewhere. I just walked.
The night was calm. There were almost no cars on the road. I passed by other pedestrians, many of them were a couple of young guy and young girl, no older than me, with their hand arming each other. Ah, lovers. When you fall in love, it seems that the world is just for the both of you. All you can think about is love. Ridiculous, that is to me, how you become blind to other things because of love. I don't want spending hours on the phone talking about love to my girlfriend if I had a deadline the day after. And acting so childish so you get your lover's attention. That's so phony.
I stepped the stairs and went to the café. After ordered the usual hot mocha latte at the cashier, I sat on the outside table so that I can watch this perfect night. That love thing almost made me forget about my boredom misery. But the thing came up to my mind again this time; it never got off actually.
I didn't know what to think of, so I reached my pocket and put all of my pocket stuff on the table. It's the sort of thing people do to when they have nothing to do but don't want to keep their mind empty.
There were my cell phone, my wallet, and few coins inside, plus my order which arrived later. I arranged the things from the smaller to bigger size, but it didn't waste me a lot of time for me arranging it. i still need to occupy my mind so I decided to take all the wallet things, except the money of course, out and put it on the table too. There were many cards: credit card, a lot of other people's name card, and my identity card. Hmm, the identity card design is the ugliest; I really don't like the color. And the text is still typed by a typewriter, not even a computer. It's so 90's. Maybe the government should ask a name card designer to make a better and up to date card design. I'm sure I can make a better design on my own.
Then I realized the answer to all of the boredom misery when I looked at my date of birth typed on that goddam blue card. I was already a twenty one years old man.

Did I think about growing up?

I hate when I should think about growing up things. You should act more mature, less childish. It's time you should think about life seriously. And you couldn't do anymore fun and enjoying things to spend the spare time. You should think about work too, and even marriage and family. Hmm, I don't like the last two idea, so maybe I just think about life and work, what I have to do and what I have to achieve. Don't worry about getting married, I don't want any. It's such a troublesome I think, to have a wife and children. Wife is just a person you'll have to argue with, and end up with the women cry. And later the women want a divorce. So why someone should marry anyway, I don't have any reasons to change my mind about not marrying anyone. I don't like children, they're really bothering, besides they're very annoying.

But this growing up things I found was a completely surprise. I felt like young Alex, who was only eighteen when he thought about the grown up things in that café because he met his old friend Georgie who was already marrying a woman and having a baby. Well, I don't know a friend of mine who was already married and I don't like to think about the marriage either, but I think my condition and Alex's is the same. So I tried to remember that goddam book I read: what did young Alex do after he realized the grown up things? Damn it, damn it, damn it, that was what I had in mind because I still forget the next part of the story.

But it was a relieved to know the exact problem of the boredom misery. Although I still didn't have any answers, I felt a little bit contented with it. I took a gulp of the mocha latte then putting my wallet and pocket stuffs back to the place they were before.

The nocturne was blowing and I felt a little bit cold although I already put a scarf on my neck. I didn't know how or why, it made me remembered the next part of the book. But heaven knows how miserable I was that night, because that Alex part is the last part of the story. The end. Fin. Period. Maybe I should write to Anthony Burgess to find a better ending.

Ah, goddam it.

So now, what should I do? I didn't really like the idea of growing up and putting behind all the childish things I like. I still want to play computer games, talk about the weather and the night with Mr. Reindeer, watch The Fairly Odd Parents on the Nickelodeon, and many other unimportant things.
But why should I care about the growing up things anyway? I don't even want to try to be one anyway; it just phony. Artificial. Fake. So I choose not to think about it, at least at that moment, when the night was calm and the stars are shining stunningly beautiful.
I took another gulp of my ice mocha latte. I look up at the sky and started to count the stars,
one, two, three, four, ....