white is the colour of the despair in her eyes

I'm scared.
Should I be so scared?

But she's scared. It really kills me when I looked her eyes. She tried so hard not to cry, but the eyes never tells lies: they held mountful of gleaming tears, making a soft stream drowning me deeper and deeper into the sea of sadness in her eyes that I couldn't even know the deepest depth:
she's afraid that she's not going to make it.
I'm afraid that I will think that she's not going to make it.

Don't go, she said to me before entering the room, please stay... She, still lying on the bed, said that to me like it was her last wish, like she said that with her very last breath.
I didn't say athing. No, I couldn't say a thing. I only nodded a little and held her hand. It was so hard for me to hold the tears from falling, especially when I felt the little tremble on her hand. It was shaking: she was trying to fight her apathy with all her courage left, with all her guts that she might had.
But I won't cry for good. I didn't want her to see my cry.

We still held hands while silentness comfortably filled the room, like the shadow crawling from the bottom corner of the wall making the whole room blackened. But the dim light from the bulb was still glowing.

My heart crushed. It was like the shadow climbed from underneath my feet to the toop. The shadow opened my chest and ripped it apart making me could see what lies within: the lungs, the bones, and others. The shadow stopped to look around when it saw my heart. It took out it's black hand slowly then pulled my heart out. I saw blood spilled everywhere, on the floor, walls, on the bed, the white uniforms, on the sad faces, everywhere. But nothing spilled. There were no reds on the floor, walls, on the bed, the white uniforms, on the sad faces. No reds anywhere. But I saw them.

I felt like I was going to collapse. How could I even stood when my heart just being crushed like that?

Had my eyes conceived me, or it's just their eyes lying them, she had to go into the room. Her eyes telling me, No, I don't wanna go there, but she had no choice. She didn't have enogh power left to fight, she stayed still.

The people on the back came forward, leave it at God's hands, and, God be with you! still they said to her. I heard so many God words, but do You really hear their wishes, oh, the One they called God?
I tried to look up but found none except the light and the ceiling.
...I guess I didn't have choice but to trust You.

They pushed her bed into the room. She still held my hand while the bed moved forward. It was the kind of holding you never want to let go. Until the distance forced you, it forced me to let her hands go.

And the door was shut.