July 04, 2007

The Other Guy

 

I have all the things that he doesn’t have,

but he only has one thing that I don’t have.

And it's the only thing that does matter.


If only you would see how good-looking I am in that black outfit.

If only you would see how I comb my hair neatly because you always said that it’s messy.

If only we would spend this Saturday night together.

If only you could hear my new story I prepared for you.


If only I could give you the pink carnation. I bought it this morning so it could be such a surprise for you when we meet. But we don’t meet at all. You cancelled it because he’s there at your house.


I was ready leaving the house with that black outfit, combed hair, the pink carnation. I stand for a moment in front of the closed gate. The flower is still fresh and I want to give it to you tonight. It might have been lifeless tomorrow. I don’t even know whether we meet tomorrow or not.


Should I just put the flower outside your door? No, he might have a look at it and it will be such a problem then for you.


Darn it…


I throw the flower into the garbage pot then light a cigar I take from my pocket. I walk nowhere, giving up the option to where my both feet take me to.


I take a mouthful smoke from the cigar, then breathe it out completely out of my lung.


…goddam it.


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